mrsbettybowers

www.bettybowers.com

As America's Best Christian (and thereby the de facto WORLD'S best Christian), I have devoted my life to hectoring my Invisible Savior with requests for lots of cool stuff. It’s a time-consuming hobby I call “prayer.” Come Judgment Day, I will be whisked through the “10 Sins Or Less” Express Line while others are subjected to the ineptitude of surly seraphim and processing delays unfamiliar to those who have not tried to secure concert seats through Ticketmaster. I make it a point to never help the poor (the Lord said they would always be with us and I would never do anything to make Him into a liar) or the unsaved (after all, if Heaven is just going to involve avoiding all the same people I shun on Earth, what would be the point?).

I am the founder of Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers, which is a bit like Concerned Women for America, only slightly less concerned and with better shoes. I am also the founder of BASH (Baptist Are Saving Homosexuals): "Be a man, girl!"

No, thank you. After watching “The Passion of the Christ” 28 times, my children can rip the arms off of a cat without even blinking. But should they be exposed to racy, secular TV they would be too psychologically damaged for me to contemplate keeping.

Christian snuff films for the whole family, such as "The Passion of the Christ"